These days it seems like there is no shortage of scary, stressful or worrisome things happening in the world. From global pandemics to acts of violence to natural disasters, it can be hard to feel safe and secure - especially when you have children. How can you parent with confidence in uncertain times and help calm your children's fears when you may be struggling with your own anxiety? Here are some tips for easing stress and having important conversations about safety.
Acknowledge Your Own Feelings First
Before speaking with your kids, it's important to acknowledge and process your own emotions regarding whatever scary situation is occurring. Children will often pick up on a parent's stress level or fear through body language and tone of voice. Take time each day, even if just 5-10 minutes, to relax your mind and body through deep breathing, journaling, meditation or simple stretches. This will help lower your own cortisol (stress hormone) levels so you can approach difficult topics from a calmer place. Don't be afraid to talk to other trusted adults as well. Leaning on support systems can ease anxiety.
Keep Communication Open and Age-Appropriate
Talk regularly with children about current events but do so in a way that matches their developmental level. Young kids may not understand complex news stories, so focus conversations on how to stay safe and healthy. With older children, pause scary broadcast media and have a thoughtful two-way dialogue. Ask questions to gauge understanding and clarify misunderstandings. Reassure them that there are trusted adults working to help keep them safe. You don't need all the answers but being available to discuss worries shows you care about their wellbeing.
Discuss Safety Plans and Coping Strategies
For potential hazards like fires, storms or lockdowns, develop a sensible family safety plan together. Knowing what to do and having a meeting place can empower children to feel in control. Role play various scenarios so it's less scary if an emergency arises. Also discuss healthy ways of coping with difficult emotions like fear, sadness or stress. Ideas include deep breathing, talking about feelings, coloring, listening to calming music or physical activity. Problem-solving as a team fosters resilience.
Maintain Calm and Consistency
In times of uncertainty, children benefit most from predictability and security. Stick to regular routines as much as possible, with comforting habits like story time at bed or weekend movie nights. Limit exposure to distressing news images that could trigger fear. Your composure, however stressed you may feel inside, provides emotional safety for kids. Responding to worry with patience, empathy and reassurance versus panicking shows them danger can be faced with courage. Keeping life's basics consistent normalizes frightening circumstances.
Focus on Togetherness and Distraction
While being available to discuss fears, spending extra time in fun family bonding helps shift perspective during periods of stress. Cook together, play board games, do arts and crafts or outdoor activities. Look for opportunities to focus on community relationships through acts of service. Volunteering helps take minds off worries and fosters compassion. When thoughts of scary things arise, gently redirect conversation or activity to more positive topics. Children this age often want distraction versus dwelling on threats beyond control.
Seek Outside Help When Needed
Don't hesitate to contact a counselor, pediatrician, crisis hotline or religious leader if stress levels become unmanageable. Help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and protects children's mental health. Community resources can offer coping techniques, assess needed support and check-ins or evaluate if circumstances necessitate relocation for well-being. No parent has to handle frightening times alone - many experts want to assist families in distress. Seeking assistance maintains optimism versus stoicism when true difficulties emerge.
Promote Hope and Problem-Solving
Ensure conversations on scary topics end optimistically. Note how communities come together in hard times and leaders/ first responders work to solve problems. Remind kids that while threats exist, so do caring people dedicated to safety. Suggest age-appropriate ways children can assist others through compassion. Examples include writing thank you cards, assisting isolated neighbors or donating toys. Promoting helpfulness boosts hope that "good still wins". Problem-solving discussions on staying safe reinforce that with thought and teamwork, scary moments often pass.
Parenting is challenging enough without having to navigate frightening circumstances. But with open communication, consistency, self-care and community support, you can comfort children's fears while managing your own anxiety. Staying emotionally available allows kids to develop important coping abilities. While some concern is understandable, focusing together on hope and helping others shifts perspective during trying periods. With patience and care, families can grow closer even in scary times.
Did you know?
Every day, more than 120 people in the United States are killed with guns, twice as many are shot and wounded, and countless others are impacted by acts of gun violence.
Everytown Research analysis of CDC, WONDER, Underlying Cause of Death, 2018–2022; Healthcare Cost and Utilization Project (HCUP) nonfatal firearm injury data, 2020; and SurveyUSA Market Research Study #26602, 2022. Last updated: 5.7.2024
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